Date: Friday, November 30, 2007
Time: 8:14 AM

u gotta be kidding me man !

yesterday and today too ????

hey wads wrong with just minding my own buisness and doing my homework ???

#$%^&$^@$%##%

i even went as far as to cross my fingers during the fifth try

yea decided to put my trust in god his one time and let him do his miracle

apparently my trust has been misplaced

cause when i fall god had decided not to catch me and take a step back

AND I BET CHA HE IS LAUGHING HIS WHITE LOIN CLOTH OFF NOW

THANKS FOR THE REMINDER GOD !

@##^$&%^*!$@

after the incredibaly boring class we went out for some slack

SY has decided to abandon me for greener pastures at the last minute

oh well who needs her anyway

cant decide where to go and went on a bus towards parkway,fell asleep on the bus.

but i still manged to wake up

spore has its fair share of rain of sunshine and especially of rude people.

dun really care to elaborate more, so i just end off here today.

tired and going to try one more time to sign in to leo

great i tried and failed to take out a piece of tissue from the lappy and now it's stuck there forever.

Date: Thursday, November 29, 2007
Time: 7:56 AM

As much as i want my mum to be like normal mums

she just would not be

i have this weird inking that she wanted to be a detective when she was young

ya she found out about the science centre

although she did not read this blog ( i hope ) or have superbionic eyes

she still found out

damn fate just loves to screw around with me

i had found out how scary man could be today

there could be a serial rapist working at ichiban

ya sure he has this charming smile and all

and he hugs girls and tried to kiss or get them kiss him

hmmmmm.....

well that does not seem to be the real problem

because u see

he has a wife

and a child for godness sake

HOW COULD HE DO THIS ?

HIS WIFE WILL CURSE HIM TILL HIS TAIL FALL OFF

and i mean it, literary.

hey and i am scared, not only for myself, but rather my friend he took a fancy on

Hey when u have a wife and for godness sake a child

u dun goddamn go hugging girls

and if u were to do anything to my friends, i will personally take out a goddamn fish gutting knife and stab u in ur most prominent area

hmmm maybe serve it up on toast too..

and to quote me " it's not a threat it's a promise"

hahaha and the best thing is

girls cant get caught for that...

it's self denfence.

Date: Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Time: 4:48 AM

Today is the crabbiest day of the week

ya crab

i am soo gonna spourt 4 more legs and grow 2 snappy claws

maybe turn a little oval in shape with a nice black tan

i am turning into a crab

i have crabbed my way outa the questionings of my faci and mum to which i nither wanted to say that i have taken slides from the 6p and that mum's fren saw me in science centre monday afternoon, wonder where she spotted me...

namira came up with this horrible sence that if i were to die, HYX will be beside me

HYX: Sup Mel ?
mel: shut up u nabeh
HYX: respect me, i am ur faci
mel:it's because of damn rp i died u knn !

that is where i killed him....

after a splurge on dinner, i came on home and tried to do my homework

tried is the word for our dear school have to be paperless

tried to sign in more then 4 times

FAILED TO ACCESS LEO

this is getting on my nerves

is it so hard for me to log in to do my friggiong homework and get it over and done with

feeling no less then grouchy today because of the pesistent pain in my stomach that would not go away.

and tmr is thursday, the worst day i can hope for.

tried again to log in

typed real slow

FAILED TO ACCESS LEO

DAMN U NABEI LEO

Date: Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Time: 7:44 AM

it is days like this that makes me miss the old days more

ahh, the good old days...

great my phone plays perfect man like it's waterlogged

damn it all

and as my waterlogged phone plays on my life goes on too

much like the scracthy gritty sound that comes out of the phone now ruining what was a perfectly good song

now there is just one song going through my head and that is hit me baby one more time

god you tell me in my dreams or ....... whatever give me a sign as to WHY THE HELL ARE U DOING THIS TO ME ?!

u go freaking tell my mum that according to her " the treasures are all in the bag, and that the latern in my path was lead, why go astray" ( no god did not go into her dreams, she went on to draw lots for me)

i don't see no frigging faggot lantern in my life

as much as i could see ahead is the grand canyon

ya i am sure u mean the treasures as the shitheads in my class.

yes the path was lit so that you could see me fall face down into a pile of dog poop and laugh at me.

ask me why it's such that i am saying this god and i can tell u.

cause that is exactly what u are doing now, laughing at me with god crap on my face.

why must u make it so that my classmates treat me as such, and that my mum love me so much it just makes me hate myself for doing things behind her back, for lying to her.

u just want me to choose

u just fucking had to have me choosing

u just had to see me squirm my way out of this dilemia u throw me into

i hate those people as much as i hate myself for forcing me to smile at a joke they make at me thinking that i dont know, no scratch that they dont even care if i know.

and i hate myself for making me turn my back on a mum that love me as much and care as much for me, is this how i repay her ?

what do u want me to do

there is no website i can log on to for an answer

there is no prayer that makes u help me out of this because u threw me in it

no one can help me solve this except me

and i am already tired

i really hope i could live up to my standards

but that standard which i grasp just months ago are out of my reach

one step i take towards them is another step away from being myself

please tell me what to do

all in the bag god, all in the bag.

Date: Saturday, November 24, 2007
Time: 9:41 AM

fucking bitch

the fucking cantankerous bitch took, heck my sister's account and took my items and now is asking me to talk nicely to her then she will return the items she took , no screw that stole from my sister's account. ya when i asked her to return my item in maple sea she told me that she will throw the items down because she is scared that i will find out what her username is and report her for hecking. because according to me i can find out which characer she is and go " i dun even know that person " when i report.

i had nicely told her that she WILL return MY items to ME or Face being banned from the game masters, and i kindly reminded her that it is not a threat, it is a promise.

and i had asked her to repent before it's too late, jesus will always accept people who repents.

she said she dont believe in jesus she believe in kuan yin ma ( yes isnt she pathetic to abandon her much beloved religion just to get back at me ?)

but i told her that i am happy that she converted so fast,because apparently chinese gods are not as benovelent as their almightly, and she will go straight to hell for stealing.

and kuan yin ma ? oh that.. she keep pestering my sis to convert and well my sis just kinda tell her that ( courtesy of my dad ) she will go to church that sunday provided she accompany my sis to the temple.

yea i know it's just an item from a non existance game, but hey since i hate her so much, WHY THE FUCK sould i give anything to her.

but her skull must have been a mile thick , and now she said that i threathened her and to quote her " it's not that i dun want to return u , but whr got ppl like that ask . even hecker also wont return lor.btw i ask her b4 taking, and then u lvl 20 plus use so high lvl equipment for what lend a while wont die lo. at most i return u next time . i wan to make peace, dont say until i like that can. you bushang then tellme in msn lah, i not like those ah lian face to face. "

my reply : ya it's not that u dun wan to return me,it's that u dun wan at all, and yes heckers wun return the items, but hey why group urself with them? they dun even know the person they are heckin'while u do and nt to mention that she is ur fren, is that how u used a fren's trust? u impress me on tat,and yes u did ask but did not specify the items, unfortunatly for u my sis's account is nt ur atm her things are hers. yes i am lvl 20 plus nw i cant use, but why would i have the intension to lend u smth when u are nt even my fren ? think b4 u try to save face. and dun talk abt making peace, the last time u try and u failed. and if i am nt happy i find u face to face, yes i am no coward, and ya if u are still not happy u can have the items i dun really care, u can go hit urself with the staff. oh and one last advice, dun act innocent when u are nt, that is plain revolting .till then we can finally make peace, god bless u "

hahahahahahhahahahahahhaahahhaha.

Date: Friday, November 23, 2007
Time: 9:19 AM

In the past there was once i will die for people to put in their friend-ship "gold" class, i was never looked apon as someone worthly to look upon, but rather used by people to get things they want. i dont understand why i was so desperate for this gold class. now i understand, because lonliness is hard to bear.

In the past i get so confused and worried if my feelings are found out by that special someone, followed by the feeling of anticipation and fear.

Fear of rejection and sadness if that person were to reject me so as to accept his special someone, fear of the future that lies ahead which seem not to point in any direction at all fear of me not liking him enough to brave troubles in the relationship.

this i understand, but it is that feeling of anticipation that makes me confused, that makes me want to forget him, erase him, do anything just not to see him, but when i see him with another girl,it makes me want to cry.

is this love ?

how could i like him when i try to forget him, how can i forget him when i like him , tell him not to like me when i like him?

is that the feeling of love ?

why then do he try to communicate with me when i think he dont like me?

and why does it makes me so happy when i see a good night message from him ?

is this horrible conflict a part of it, or is this punishment for trying to run away from my feelings ?


think about it.

Date: Thursday, November 1, 2007
Time: 9:23 AM

Yes god i love you, for making me suffer so.

in my past life i must have pissed fate or god off, cause they are out to make me miserable.

the first thing in the morning is that i am late, and that i could not sit for UT ( useless test ), sy spent the entire train ride blaming me and not talking much to me. i dont remember blaming her for the countless tests she made me miss in the past, well not so much anyway.

then ok i went into class, thank you god for not changing my team. i am stuck in the same stupid damn team which have looked down on me since the start of school. so i kept to myself most of the day again ( yes i realised they are making damn awful jokes about me behind my back) go to hell you all come and fight and face me like a man !

then came the blessful after school, which is not too bad, i get to laugh a lot.

then this is where hell comes in

god decided that he will play a joke on me called the melissa will not find any internet connection in god damned fucking bugis, and lets sit down and laugh at her reaction. and so i figured that out and told namira nevermind i will go home to do my RJ.

homeward bound in a gruelling train ride, got squashed between a fat ass woman and blue man's bag . fat ass there was talking to her friend how she managed to eat all of her son's leftovers and her own food, and making big actions with her hand, i dont even want to count the times she hit me. naturally i moved further away from her to avoid her onslaught of slappings when mr blue man just keep pushing against me and i was stuck sitting with half my butt hanging out looking downright miserable.

then god came and decided i havent got enough, as luck will have it i reached my station at 11.45 then ran like crazy to the lift, switch on the lappy in such a hurry the damn comp dropped on the floor. okay then i was like rush inside the house it was 11.55

yup then vista could not open the word doc i have saved my RJ in, then quickly switched to xp, then the comp must have set it's mind on revenge, cause it had to come up with the blue sceen for god knows how long, then fed up i asked my sis to get up it was 11.58, then i have another problem in this moniter there is only 2 usb port one is used for the modemn the other for the mouse, so i unplugged the mouse and plugged in the multiple usb port ones, turns out that the mouse cant be used..11.59.. when the mouse finally got sensered it is past the RJ time, yup god made my day typical.

then lets piss melissa off day is not over yet

had to send email but did not have an inking as to how to, so called sy did not answer called xw, then after she told me how to, i asked her if she is going to school tmr, she said yes and told me dont be late because sy is not happy today, i dunnoe why i feel mad after she told me that. i mean if sy was late for the UT she will just like hehehehe i will just grumble for a while and we move on. you mean she can be late i cannot be late ? i dont understand. i did not choose to be late, i have a big tiff with my parents the night before and went to bed forgetting about the alarm,and since i have a tiff with my mum who the hell will wake me up ? so i ended up waking at 8.10 when sy called. then she goes all angry on me 'today's UT i can do one lor', i dont understand. sy could leave first, i am not blaming her , she could go on first and it's her choice. so i came up with a solution if this things happen again should it happen again, she could go on first and i could go later , then she can still take her test and i will be much happier.of course that is not stating that i do not have mistakes , i do for the lateness and for the temtrum i threw sometimes that i admit , i am in the wrong, and i sincerly appologise for it, hoping for nothing more than that you would bear with my shortcomings as i will bear with yours.

could feel a massive headache building up so till then chao.