Date: Monday, October 29, 2007
Time: 6:31 AM

originally i had wanted to write about how mums of the worlds are seriously chewing my ass now-a-days, but i lose inspiration halfway so..

skipped sch AGAIN today , and seriously thinkin' abt skipping tmr too sorry mum i love ya but the moods are really not looking good today or tmr for the matter either. one thing to look forward to anyway is that i will be changing teams tmr HOORAYYYYYY !!!!!

but taking into consideration that half my class are so desperate to fit into that flamboyant catergary they deem so important as, and that they have already judged me before knowing me i cant and dont want to muster up much hopes for a miracle, and i am not even hoping that god loves me enough to make me sprain my legs (both ) in an accident.

the world is so unfair...yes and misery just loves company,i just figured that my life was pathetic and well lifeless and was moping around as usual blaming myself and everything i could get my mind on. i had come to the conclusion that my life suck, and that kitchen knife is starting to look very friendly, when i saw this classmate nick that went ' i wont call this a team ' .

that small sentence just made me happy i dunno why, i mean i am no sadist ( okay maybe the most postive sucidal kid u met ) so why am i happy for this classmate's unhappy day ? i figured that that just proves that if this classmate have an unhappy day, he or she could go on to tomorrow's class, then me and my unhappy day in my class dont seemed too far strecthed...i guess provided that this classmates did not end up in the group most classmates deem as "losers" ( me included ) then why i guess...

maybe if i gave myself a chance to mix with them maybe i would have clicked, but i figured whats the point of being fake and have people love you for being that fake person as you are when you could be real and love yourself for what you really are, i have friends i know love me for who i am and honestly i took them for granted till now. i love them for who they are too everyone of them their werid quirks and habits, they are being them and that is what appeals to me.being fake like people in my class to fit in just make people who could see through you deem you as pathetic, you are not strong enough to stand up against them, and choose to custer with them as a pathetic escape to not being alone, doomed to say things you dont mean do things you dont want to. freedom as to being alone seems so much better then the jail bird life you are leading, and yes you are corroding from withen.