Date: Thursday, October 25, 2007
Time: 6:56 AM

i once knew a girl whose smile is never flattered by anything and that is the most sincere thing in her..she was naive she was happy and she went out into the world full of hopes that she have finally grown up she trusted everyone and smiled at all she saw...
then she seen things that chill even her warm smile, she felt feelings that created tears in her eyes and scarred her heart, but none as worse than this, she smiled but now her smile is so practised she smiled through any situation ,it is the most fake thing about her.

God if any one can help me...

it's you,you hear ???

my life is getting so incredibly hard it is hard to believe that i once was contented

is this the test for the strength i asked for ?

or is it just plain torture you put up for me ?

are you trying to show me how ugly the world can be ?

or are you trying to make me into a part of that ugly world ?

you are making it so hard for me to get by...

why do you make people who is so nice bend to pressure and become the devil's plaything ?

why do you make them so hard to hate when the things they do makes you cry ?

why do you choose to harden them up when you want compassion ?

why is life so full of such stupid and hard decision which you lose in either ends ?

you have made human beings so ugly, so selfish, so stupid that i hate myself, i hate my life and yet i have to live on.

please tell me why ..

why i stopped day dreaming..

why i stopped believing in everyone..

why i stopped staring at the skies with a smile..

why i hardly smile from the bottom of my heart anymore.

the girl i knew asked god all these and cried in her heart everyday, the tears turned her heart harder each time it wept.

wonder how long she could last before her heart turns to stone...

wonder how long god's answer would take...

wonder when i would see her most beautiful smile again..